


Gender-Switched Green Lanterns Playing Strip Scabble

by Caia (Caius)



Category: DCU, Green Lantern - Fandom
Genre: Crack, Multi, Sex swap, request fic
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2006-07-03
Updated: 2006-07-03
Packaged: 2017-10-02 17:28:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,612
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8878
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Caius/pseuds/Caia
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The Green Lantern Corps of Earth gets gender-swapped. They play strip scrabble. As you do.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Gender-Switched Green Lanterns Playing Strip Scabble

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Littledarkvoice](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=Littledarkvoice).



> Title is both the prompt and the Summary
> 
> Set during the GREEN LANTERN CORPS era (just post-COIE, GL v2 200+).

"What's the word from Oa?" asked John, emerging from Kilowog's large, green, medical contraption and quickly covering himself in a slight variant of his normal costume

"According to the Guardian, this is happening all over. It was a glitch in the main battery and should fix itself within twenty-four hours. Meanwhile, we should continue with our duties." Katma sat down next to her husband and placed her hand on his shoulder.

John tried not to flinch away. "Sorry. It's hard to adapt. And you look so much like Sinestro like this..."

Katma sighed. "I've learned to tell male humans apart, I'm sure you--all of you--" she eyed the resigned-looking navy-blue Salakk and Ch'p, who for once looked nearly as glum as his companion, and then Arisia, who was barely paying attention--"can learn to tell male Korugarans apart. For twenty-three and a half hours."

"All of you mammals look the same to me. Don't know why you're making fusses about a little more or less flesh on your chest." Salakk's uniform was covering as much of him as he can. "I'm *never* going to get used to female coloration, I don't know how they do it."

John cringed and tried not to look down at his "more flesh". Katma looked from her husband, and then down at herself (himself) and back again.

Arisia looked at her own chest in distress. "And I only just got them." She shuddered. "And now I sound like a guy, too. Will Hal still like me?" She modified her costume yet again, trying to find an appropriate male version of her usual miniskirt.

"Cheer up, he's no doubt a female too," said Ch'p, climbing out of Kilowog's examining device, looking only slightly more cheery than the other lanterns felt.

Kilowog pronounced. "You're a very healthy female H'lven. Like the rest of you; you're all just fine, except...the opposite sex."

"And you, Kilowog? Are you going to scan yourself now?" Ch'p craned upward. The most visible sign of his change, to the other species at least, was that he was a little smaller; while Kilowog had become larger.

"I already have. And, of course, I can feel the difference. Bolovax are simple creatures, and not much scanning is needed."

"We should go about our business, like the Guardian said," said Ch'p. "Just as usual."

No one moved.

"What is our business for today?" asked Katma.

"I'm not going out like this. Not unless there's an emergency." Salakk crossed his arms.

"Salakk, don't be like that. None of the humans are going to know what happened to you," said Ch'p.

"Yeah, they'll think I've dumped myself into a vat of blue die."

"They're sure going to know what happened to me and Katma and Arisia. Either that or they'll think it's a new GL and a old Villain," said John. "Perhaps Ch'p and Kilowog should handle any outside business as much as possible, as their changes are likely to be the least obvious to the locals."

"I wonder how Hal is doing?" asked Arisia, still trying to process the concept of a female Hal.

"I bet he'll be coming soon," said Kilowog.

"*I* wonder how Guy is handling this," said John.

Everyone paused. Six different forms of horrified giggling broke out.

On queue, there was a loud crash from the vicinity of the door, followed by some obscene yelling in a Baltimore accent an octave or two higher than usual.

"The poozer's right on time," said Kilowog.

"What the hell is going on?! What have all you...you wimps done to me this time?! Where is JORDAN?! I swear, I'm going to kill him for this."

"Shut up, Gardner," said John. "As you can see, we're *all* afflicted here."

Guy did, in fact, shut up. He looked around. He was silent for a moment. Then he burst out laughing.

"I can assure you," said Katma. "None of us look more ridiculous than you do."

"And that's *before* the swap," commented Arisia.

"Hey!" Guy glared at Arisia. Arisia glared down at Guy. Guy levitated six inches above the floor. The assembled GLs started snickering again. Guy glared.

Kilowog cleared his throat. "The word from Oa is that the effects will wear off in 24 of your hours--from when they started, that is, closer to 23 now.   
We are to wait it out and continue with our business."

"Damn Guardians, left to screw their females and now they say we should *wait it out*?" Guy paced back and forth. "I can't go out like this! I've got an *image* to maintain."

"I dunno, this might be an improvement, in your case..." commented John.

"Hey, just 'cause you got your hot alien *husband* ready to *take you as you are* doesn't mean that *real men* can just..."

"ENOUGH, Guy," said John.

"Enough, both of you. All of you, sit DOWN," said Kilowog. "We're all in the same boat, we're none of us likely to leave until tomorrow, so we *might just as well* behave like *civil beings*." Kilowog toward over both Earth (wo)men, taking full advantage of the changes in size enhanced by the sex difference.

Both men prepared to dispute him for the moment. Salakk sat over beside Ch'p, gloomily preparing for a spectator sport. Katma and Arisia rolled their eyes at each other.

It was at just this moment that Hal Jordan came upon the scene.

No one noticed.

"It looks like the Old Timer was right, everyone *is* affected," he said.

Everyone turned around.

"Hal!" said Arisia, running up to him. She stopped, uncertainly.

"Arisia!" Hal...looked up, also rather uncertain.

"Aww, how romantic," commented Guy. "Don't worry, Arisia, I'm *sure* he'll have no trouble adapting."

Both Arisia and Hal turned, with some relief, to glare at Guy. "Shut up," they said, more or less in unison, and then turned back to each other, some of the ice broke. Hal swept Arisia into his (her) arms, and she cuddled into him, as if she were much smaller.

The rest of the Corps looked away, Guy making disgusted noises.

The pair parted, eventually. "What is the situation here?" Hal asked.

"More or less as you see us," said Kilowog.

"Looking down," said Salakk, hiding his navy-blue coloring in the corner.

"Trying *not* to look down." Ch'p looked at Salakk instead.

"It's only for a day," commented Katma. "Now if we can just *behave* between now and then--" she eyed Guy pointedly.

"Why do they *always* look at me?" said Guy, crossing his arms over his rather ample bosom. "And it's a damn good thing I can get my ring to provide boob support."

Everyone tried not to look at Guy's boobs, except for Kilowog, Salakk, and Ch'p, who just looked confused. Salakk made a comment about mammals under his breath.

Everyone tried to start another topic of conversation at once. Ch'p, surprisingly enough, prevailed. "We something to distract ourselves. And we need a way to get to know our new bodies, in case an emergency arises. I have a suggestion." A long green branch extended itself from Ch'p's ring, snagging a flat box from the cabinet. "A game of strip scrabble."

"A game of *what*?" Everyone stopped what they were saying to stare.

\----

Half an hour later, they were all organized into teams around the scrabble board. Hal and Katma, John and Ch'p, Arisia and Kilowog, and Salakk and Guy (Salakk had drawn the short straw and had gloomily accepted his fate).

\----

An hour later, they had just about finished the first round of play. The arguments, between teams and within them, had gotten *fierce* when it was discovered that Scrabble by ring-translation was by no means the easiest game to legislate.

Before it degenerated into a brawl, however, Kilowog pointed out that that the rings could determine honesty, and therefore they might just go with the players' assertions that what they put down was, in fact, a word in their language.

Salakk and Guy were already way ahead. Apparently Slyggian had a lot of z's and x's in it, some of which were transliterated from e's in the scrabble set. Guy was jubilant. Salakk was just happy to be clothed.

Nonetheless, the game was played to the bitter end--all eight of them had not fear, after all, and no one would back down over mere nudity.

At least not *first*.

Soon, everyone was naked except Guy (who wore only a pair of spotted Green Boxer shorts incongruous over his new anatomy--there were several questions as to how he fit them under his uniform in the first place, but he was allowed to keep them). Katma and John, Arisia and Hal, were eyeing each other with more or less open curiosity and lust (while Ch'p and Salakk were exchanging more subdued looks).

Kilowog was mostly looking politely away, and was the first to suggest calling it a night.

"Whooee! I won!" said Guy.

Salakk responded, "No, you mean, *we* won," somewhat distractedly.

"Time for bed anyway," said Katma sweeping away the game into its box while barely looking away from her husband.

"Yes, yes," agreed most of the others. John and Katma and Arisia and Hal went upstairs. Ch'p pulled Salakk along with him a few seconds later.

Kilowog looked at Guy. "Couch is over there. Wake us if there's an emergency."

Guy, left alone, grumpily created a bed and not-*too*-feminine pajamas. "Win the game, and I still don't get any play. Less I count my *own* boobs..."

\-----

In the morning, all was more or less as normal. No one in the Corps spoke of it again.

Except perhaps privately, in bed.


End file.
